-- PLEASE CLICK ON THE BANNER TO BE TAKEN TO MY ICON PAGE --






it is updated regularly




thanks for checking out the page everyone



and a special thanks to ladyxmoonlight for showing me how to link the banner directly to my icon page!

it's changed.

my layout that is



and why yes, it's fandom related


because I couldn't get the general art thing to work. whatever. it's fine.


I'm 98% happy with it.


the 2% I'm unhappy with? the text on the header. the more I look at it, the less I like it. but it's too late now (it's already been saved and closed) so I can't take it off.


whatever.


unless someone out there can take it off for me without screwing my header up?



I'll give you a cookie... or something.

...I want a new layout.


and by that, I mean: a completely different style than what I have now. but this style is the only one I know how to work with so I'm going to need some help.


if anyone is willing?



I'm looking for something that is essentially -me-

something to do with art. because that's what I spend most of my time doing. I am unsatisfied with changing my layout to whatever fandom shit I happen to be into at the time. I want something permanent.

I just finished Children of Earth



...


I feel numb.

I just took a shower. and while I was in there with the niiiice hot water pouring down my back... the numbness in my arms and legs went away. I didn't want to get out, but I was turning into a prune.

*is sad*


now I'm sitting on my bed in a towel and the numbness is starting to return.


meh.


I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep. I've been awake since about 5:30 last night. I haven't slept worth shit in a month. I can't go to sleep right now. I'm "babysitting" the dogs. if it was just Ginger it'd be fine. but Max is a big baby. though he's being okay right now... I wonder what he'd do if I were to lie down?


hm.



...OMG THERE IT GOES AGAIN. MY COMPUTER IS POSSESSED. WHY DOES IT KEEP RANDOMLY PLAYING ADVERTISEMENTS???



*runs away screaming in other direction*

and here I thought I was doing so well.


for a day or two at least. I felt okay...


til about 40 minutes ago. when the shakiness hit all of a sudden. and I had to pee, but couldn't so it was making my stomach hurt. so I sat on my bed for a minute eating a cracker. then tried to go pee again. and finally did a little bit. but then I got really really shaky and threw up. and then my bladder decided it had to pee again... only more.







*head.desk*




odd thing? I always feel better after I get sick. the shaking goes away instantaneously.


and I mostly get shaky... when I have to go to the bathroom, but can't. does that mean something?

erm.


so I have to submit 4 more batches of art: icons, headers, wallpapers, whatever. to inspireoncemore as part of my trial period.

each batch must consist of at least 40 items.


I have a little over 3 weeks to submit them, which is actually a little over 2 weeks because I'll be gone from the 17th until the 21st house sitting and I can't make stuff while I'm there.


anyway, there was a point to all that rambling.


I NEED IDEAS, HALP!


give me screencaps, pictures, links, anything you can think of. pleeeease.

made my first trial post @ inspireoncemore


go check it out... HERE


and leave me shiny comments too, plz

This list is more for me, but if you guys have any input... feel free to share. Any help is appreciated.


SYMPTOMS

1. Difficulty swallowing: phlegm/mucus feeling in throat at all times. Made somewhat better if I keep a piece of hard candy between my gums and cheek.

2. Constant headaches.

3. Random periods of uncontrollable shaking and shivering (anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour) followed by throwing up several times.

4. Dry mouth: drink a lot of water throughout the day, but never feel like it's enough. Use carmex constantly because it helps my mouth feel less dry.

5. Always tired.

6. Blurred/Hazy vision

7. Constipation

8. Stomach pain: constantly have stomach muscles clenched because when I relax them, then my stomach hurts worse.

9. Heavy feeling in legs.

10. Weakness/numbness in right arm: especially when using it. ie: writing, mouse work, or just holding it above my head for a few seconds.

11. Always have to pee or feel like I have to.

http://community.livejournal.com/scullystillness/39538.html#cutid1


o hai, go vote

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ/notes and explain what they mean to you.

ladyxmoonlight gave me mine.


Art: is... pretty much my whole life. it's what I spend the most time doing. whether it's iconing, wallpapers or banners. it gives me a lot of joy and I love that I can express myself in such a way. I admit to being... uncertain, at times. About my work. so I'll get a second opinion about 80% of the time before I actually post any of my work online.

Kids I love kids. I always have. I can't imagine myself actually having any though. But I love to be around them and taking care of my nieces. This fall? will be weird. because Felicity will be in school, so it'll just be me and Trinity. and then after that, no one. It's going to be hard not seeing their little faces all of the time.

X-Files ahh, yay. my very first online fandom. the one that introduced me to some amazing people 10 years ago. It will always hold a special place in my heart.

Poetry I love to write and read poetry. I haven't written anything in ages though. My muse seems to have taken off on me.

Anxiety oh, where to begin. I've been living with anxiety attacks since I was in High School. At that time, they were not so bad. Just a once in awhile thing that happened usually before a huge event I had to partake in. Choir concerts, first day of school, etc. Stuff like that. My attacks increasingly got worse and worse as the years went on. To this day I'm not sure why. Imagine feeling like your whole world is crashing down around you everytime you went to step out the front door. Even just to walk down to the mailbox. Or having to hide out in your room everytime someone came to visit, family included. There was a time when I couldn't even talk on the phone to anyone other than my mom without having an anxiety attack. I've been on a number of different medications, and have finally found one that works for me. One that makes me feel like a semi-normal person. I'm able to leave the house now, go shopping, and go house sit for Candle at a moments notice thanks to my new meds. I still have to have my mom take me though. I'm not at the point where I can go places with other people. and I'm not at the point where I can take in a movie at the theaters. I haven't set foot in a movie theater in 10 years. There are still times when I feel a little unsteady and must take a breather, but it's not like it used to be. I'd love to get back to the way I was when I was in middle school. Hanging out with friends, going to the movies, a park, just anything. I don't know that I'll ever get there. I take my meds twice a day and I will be on them for the rest of my life. and to answer your question about how I feel about it? It's like being a prisoner in your own home. Caged, trapped, locked in. When you try to get out from under it, something invisible is holding you down. Unescapable.

they just got home, and the vet gave Ginger some fluids because she was dehydrated. they said she has a virus, and so she's now on antibiotics for the next 5 days.


:( poor puppy.


she's all fat and bloated now because of the fluids. the vet said her body would absorb them after a few hours.